insanity is escape from an insane world

I have a clock now. It ticks ticks ticks every momet of the day. I was forced to get it so I wake up in the morning for work. Now that I have a job. Now that I have rejoined what is normal.

I go through a periodic phase fascination with end of the world scenarios. The last really good book I read about this was John Whydhams The Day of the Triffids, which I got from the library. Recently I rewatched 12 Monkeys, which is always a nice treat. Like a desert.
Anyway, I have been thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. I have a few days off so I really am just doing nothing.

Kept looking out the keyhole today. It's funny how we are all a little nuerotic, and it's something when it all turns out to have some reason. Like the whole keyhole thing today... what I expected I would eventually see, I did.

It makes me wonder about how much life really does reveal to us but maybe we are just to prideful to listen.

I wonder of the television programs are really just the commercials for the advertisments? That's how it seems.

enter the gates

I'm not gonna tell you that I deserve to be here
while the cradle of my salvation
renders itself to my memories of fear
that become me – don't fade away
don't be scared to take a taste
of your own
God knows it's imposible to breathe on my own
the wickedly violent are the first to cast stones
The lights from the city keep me awake all night
and the voices of my departure
illuminate like candles
all of the dreams I never got use to dying to
with a cold cold heart – she stands at the door and she's knocking
I'm on my own
and so in need of some comfort from lonliness
your the best crutch I have to lean on to
and convientient as well and I almost forgot that your new to me
and most importantly
your alone
the devil in all of us is as guilty as me
so don't think you're pleasentries will save you
i'm looking for less of an opinion and more of a rivalry
time is a dream we wake up to